K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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