youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
