Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Are we still banned from the library?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
