I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
