I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Actions speak louder than pants.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
