Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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