if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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