now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize