Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
