I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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