I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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