I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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