Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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