if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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