dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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