hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
