6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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