My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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