How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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