He is an equal opportunity slut.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
