he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
