i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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