I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
