"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
