I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
