The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm too high and old for this...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
