There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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