I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
