What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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