You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
