it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
