Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
