After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
