Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
