pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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