i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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