Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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