so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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