these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
