Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I am mentally ready for anal.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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