It's Friday. Sex?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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