It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I've blown a few things in my day
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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