You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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