I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
