SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
