no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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