He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize