I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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