It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
