Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
