he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
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