just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
