They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
