To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
