dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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