i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
