Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
