They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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